


Ways of Coping

by respoftw



Series: Tumblr Prompts - McShep edition [10]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: 5 Times, DADT Repeal, Light Angst, M/M, POV John, Pining!John, Pining!Rodney
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-24
Updated: 2016-07-24
Packaged: 2018-07-26 09:43:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7569358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/respoftw/pseuds/respoftw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five Times Rodney didn't go to bed with John Sheppard (and one time he did)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ways of Coping

**Author's Note:**

> Anonymous prompt that ended up way angstier than it should have been, sorry!

John knew that not everyone on Atlantis was going through as dry a spell as him.  They were in another galaxy after all, and while Sumner might have still tried to enforce the fraternisation policy, John had given them all carte blanche to do whatever the hell they wanted so long as they kept him up to date for staffing reasons.  So, while he knew that there was plenty of extra-curricular activities, if you had asked him he would have sworn on his Cash poster that Rodney was as celibate as he was.   
  
At least, that's what he'd thought until an early morning wake-up call to try and enforce his resident scientist to take part in some cardio had resulted in him bumping into Lt. Mendelssohn sneaking out of Rodney's room at five am.   
  
"Colonel Sheppard, Sir, I - -"   
  
John had shrugged it off, assuring the Lieutenant that he was off duty and that it was none of his business before jogging swiftly in the other direction without disturbing Rodney.  After all, it seemed like he'd had his fair share of cardio already.   
  
Ronon was somehow much easier to take down in sparring that morning.   
  
At breakfast, John was torn between not quite being able to look Rodney in the face and wanting to catalogue his every move, looking for the subtle differences between a recently got laid Rodney and a needs to get laid Rodney.  By the end of the meal, he had come to the conclusion that there were none.   
  
John's first conclusion from this highly scientific observational study was that Mendelssohn must have been a crappy lay if he couldn't even wipe the complaining out of Rodney for one morning (he wasn't ready just yet to investigate just how smugly pleased that made him).  It was only when he was walking Rodney part of the way towards his labs later that a second, horrifying conclusion presented itself.   
  
Maybe Rodney had been getting laid this entire time.   
  


* * *

"So, you and Lt. Mendelssohn, is it serious?"

  
John leaned back on his arms, his legs swinging gently off the pier in a pretty damn convincing display of nonchalance.  (It should be, he thought, he practiced it enough).  He'd expected Rodney to spit out his beer or maybe flail his arms in that way that he did when someone had said something so unbelievably moronic that his body just couldn't contain his reaction, but he was surprised to see only a momentary flicker of shock before Rodney schooled his face into something blander and completely unlike himself.   
  
"I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to ask that, Colonel."   
  
"I'm not, I mean I don't care - I mean I _care_ , you're my friend."  John sighed and looked up at the stars.  "I was just surprised that I didn't know about it."   
  
Rodney nodded, his head bent over his beer bottle and his hands picking at the corners of the label.  "Well, I'm not really supposed to tell, either," he said, finally looking at John.  "It's not serious, it's...sometimes it's nice to not be alone, you know?"   
  
John bit down on his instinct to insist that Rodney wasn't alone, that he had him.  He nodded instead and passed another bottle of beer over.  Rodney was right.  It was nice not to be alone.   
  


* * *

"I slept with Stephanie last night."

John looked up from his weekly inventory reports as Rodney barged into his office and settled himself on the seat across from him.   
  
"And you're telling me this because..."   
  
Rodney humphed.  "I'm telling you this because you got all pissy about not knowing about Ben so I thought you'd want to know."   
  
John didn't want to know.  Knowing meant that it would be easier for him to track each and every expedition member Rodney had went to bed with and reassign each of them back to Earth.     
  
He didn't let any of that show though, just raised his eyebrows and leant back in his chair with a lazy grin.  "Stephanie...is she the one with the.." John made the universally accepted gesture for massive breasts and hoped Teyla wasn't anywhere near by.   
  
"That's the one.  They're not real."  Rodney sounded so disappointed that John almost wanted to comfort him.   
  
"So, you're...bi?" he asked instead.   
  
Rodney nodded.  "That a problem?"   
  
"Not for me."   
  
"Oh, well, good."  Rodney looked around the room, a little lost now that he'd shared his big news.  "So, uh, pier tonight?"   
  
"Sounds good."   
  


* * *

  
Now that he knew Rodney was sleeping with people on a semi-regular basis, John couldn't stop thinking about it; about _Rodney_.  Rodney spread out naked and willing on one of the tiny Atlantis beds.  Rodney pressing his weight on top of a waiting body, his mouth curved upwards and playful instead of downwards and focused.   
  
It had weirded him out at first, just how much time he was devoting to the imaginings of Rodney McKay naked and in bed but eventually, after the third boring staff meeting that had ended with John having to hold a clipboard over his trousers, he'd decided to embrace it.  He was attracted to Rodney.  There, he'd admitted it.  It didn't mean that he was going to do anything about it.  He was fine.   
  
John imagined that he'd be loud, of course he would be.  Rodney couldn't shut his mouth from running off even when they were shackled and merciless with a gun pointed at their heads.  But then sometimes he liked to picture it the other way, Rodney silent and overstimulated - sex might be the only thing that could shut him up.   
  
It was like the Schrödinger's cat of fantasies.  Rodney was both loud and quiet until proven otherwise.   
  
John was proven otherwise on PX5-337.  Jesus, Rodney was loud.  Wonderfully, terribly loud.  John's hand crept down towards the scratchy cloth that covered him, dipping underneath to ghost across his hardening cock.    
  
Hey, if Rodney could enjoy himself....   
  
The locals had put on a welcoming ceremony for them.  It wasn't bad as welcoming ceremonies went - the music didn't make his ears bleed and the drink was giving him a pleasant buzz - but any enjoyment he'd felt had disappeared as he watched a grinning native lead Rodney towards the tents set up in their honour.   
  
He had ignored Ronon's smirk and Teyla's concerned frown and proceeded to get very, very, unprofessionally drunk.   
  
That's his excuse for the voyeuristic orgasm and he's sticking to it.   
  


* * *

Admitting to himself that he likes Rodney doesn't change much for John.  He still has breakfast with him, visits his lab at least three times a day and keeps a peeled eye on him during meetings and missions and - - if Rodney ever figured how long it took him to figure his feelings out, he wouldn't stand a chance.  Even John is embarrassed by how long it took him.

So, nothing changes.  Except for the twitch that develops in his left eye whenever he catches a rumour of Rodney taking yet another person who isn't John to his bed.     
  
The day he sees Colonel Caldwell doing the walk of shame down corridor C is the worst day of his life and not even beating his fists bloody during his sparring session with Ronon can make him feel better.   
  
"You gotta talk to him," Ronon said as he held his hand out to help John up off the mat.     
  
John pretended not to know what he was talking about.   
  
He was good at that.   
  


* * *

Their next off world visit was blissfully quiet.  No Wraith attacks, no villagers with pitchforks and no wily natives luring Rodney away with their bulging biceps.  Nope, it was just your run of the mill weird energy signature on a deserted planet kind of mission and John was thrilled.

Or, at least he was until he returned from his patrol of their perimeter and entered his two-man tent to find Teyla brushing her hair before bed.   
  
"Ronon had asked if I would switch with Dr. McKay, Colonel," she smiled.  "I hope you don't mind."   
  
John came back to awareness to see Ronon spitting blood on to the ground with a wide grin on his face and Rodney gaping at him like he'd just turned back into a bug.     
  
"Like I said," Ronon let Teyla press a wet cloth against his jaw, "you need to talk to him.  You're welcome."   
  


* * *

Teyla and Ronon had retreated into their shared tent leaving John alone with an uncharacteristically silent Rodney.   
  
John considered the possible excuses, from being hopped up on Wraith enzyme to being overtaken by a Goa'uld, but one look at Rodney's bewildered blue eyes and he knew he had to tell the truth.   
  
He hated talking about this stuff, feelings, and decided that a rip the bandaid off approach was for the best.  Here went nothing.

"I don't like it when you take people to your bed," he blurted out.  "Not Mendelssohn, not the gate tech with the big - "   
  
"- - Stephanie," Rodney interrupted.   
  
"Yeah, her.  Not half-clothed villagers, not Colonel fucking Caldwell and definitely not Ronon."   
  
"And why is that, Colonel?" Rodney sounded defeated rather than angry.  "Can you even tell me why?  Do you even know?"   
  
"Yeah," he nodded.  "I know."   
  
"For how long?"   
  
"Since I saw Mendelssohn creep out your room at ass o'clock."   John sighed and sat down on the ground beside the fire, stretching his legs out to get comfortable.  "Since I realised that you weren't dealing with this the same way I was."   
  
Rodney sat down next to him, close enough that their things brushed against each other.  John had always liked Rodney's thighs.   
  
"You know that you started it with Chaya, right?"   
  
"For the last time, McKay, I did not sleep with Chaya.  It was - -"   
  
"- a weird glowy thing," Rodney finished for him,  "I know.  You've said.  The thing is, that's just a technicality and you know it.  Am I supposed to be alone forever?"   
  
The words that he had wanted to say on the pier wouldn't be pushed back again.  "You're not alone.  Not while you've got me."   
  
John's pinkie finger grazed Rodney's hand and Rodney opened his palm up to him; let John take a grasp of his hand and cradle it in his own.   
  
"I'm not allowed to have you," Rodney whispered.  "And it's too hard to not have anyone.  Have I told you how much I hate the military?  You can turn a blind eye for your people but that doesn't work for you.  I know it doesn't."   
  
"You didn't seem to care about that with Caldwell," John said.  That still stung.  More than anyone else, Caldwell had felt like a kick in the teeth.   
  
"Please," Rodney laughed sadly.  "Like I care if Colonel Caldwell gets kicked out.  I don't give a damn about him.  I give a damn about you."   
  
"I'm willing to risk it."  John was.  He knew that now.   
  
Rodney smiled sadly.  "I'm not."   
  
John nodded.  He could understand that.  Hell, he even respected it.  The fire burned low as they sat there, thighs pressed together, hands tangled up.   
  
"It's getting late," John eventually said.  "You coming to bed?"   
  
"Yeah."   
  
They slept in separate sleeping bags that night and every overnight off world mission thereafter.   
  
John didn't hear any more rumours of Rodney sleeping with other people and he didn't see any more men or women sneaking along Corridor C in the dead of night.   
  
He wouldn't have said they were happy, exactly.  But they got by.   
  
Happiness came later.  On September 20th 2011, after an agonising wait of sixty days and six years, John got to finally sleep with Rodney.   
  
On September 21st 2011 he decided that it really was about time that they requisitioned some larger beds.   
  
  



End file.
